Are You a Complainer? How to Break Free and Design Your Reality

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to fall into the trap of complaining? Me too! Maybe it's about the weather, work, or even just a minor inconvenience. It turns out, complaining and blaming are more than just bad habits; they're deeply ingrained negative behaviors that can significantly impact our life.
Our nervous systems are wired to lean towards negativity as a survival mechanism, and these patterns become coping mechanisms that don't reflect our true selves. But, there is a way to break free and start designing your reality.

The Downward Spiral of Complaining

Complaining isn’t just a harmless venting session. It perpetuates negativity, attracting more of the same into your life. The reticular activating system (RAS) in your nervous system seeks out this negativity, creating a vicious cycle. The more you complain, the more you reinforce negative thought patterns, creating neurotransmitters in the brain that make you more susceptible to experiencing negativity. It's a bit like a self-fulfilling prophecy: focusing on the negative leads to more negativity. This can also impact your relationships as constant complaining drains others and can lead to resentment. And, what is even more insidious, it keeps you trapped in a "hypnotic state" of "not-self" behavior, which prevents you from living up to your full potential.

The First Steps to Freedom: Awareness and Perspective 

So, how do you break this cycle? The first step is awareness. You need to become conscious of when you’re engaging in these behaviors. It might seem simple, but recognizing complaining as a programmed behavior is crucial for change. Once you are aware, you need to shift your perspective. Instead of saying, “I am angry,” try reframing it to, “I am experiencing anger at an 8 on the pain scale”. This moves you from a subjective experience to a more objective viewpoint, allowing you to see the situation more clearly and make conscious choices. Using a pain scale to measure the intensity of your negative feelings helps make this shift.

Reprogramming Your Mindset

After awareness and perspective, the next step is to reprogram your mindset. There are many tools like self-hypnosis and positive affirmations. However, it’s crucial that these affirmations align with your nervous system. For example, if you are saying “I am loved” but your nervous system doesn't believe it, you need to integrate the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of the block before the affirmation can be truly effective. This helps decondition the negative patterns and create a more positive internal dialogue.

Designing Your Reality

By becoming aware of your complaining and blaming patterns, shifting your perspective, and reprogramming your mindset, you can begin to design your reality. When you're stuck in a cycle of complaining, you are completely blind to the possibilities and opportunities around you. Breaking free from these negative patterns allows you to see new opportunities and create a more positive experience. It means that you are clear on what you need to say yes to and what you need to say no to in your life.

A Simple Practice

Here’s a simple practice you can start today to break the cycle of complaining. When you notice yourself complaining, recognize it, bless it, and replace it with something in your environment that you are grateful for. This shifts your focus and helps you see the positive aspects of your life.

Ready to Transform?

Don't let complaining and blaming continue to control your life. By taking these steps, you can create a more fulfilling and positive reality. The changes you make within yourself will be reflected in your external world.

Watch the entire episode on YouTube to learn more about these techniques and how to activate your unique success mechanism.